Over the weekend I had the great opportunity to go and listen to Elder Groberg speak to our youth at a mission readiness conference. It was absolutely wonderful and so many pieces clicked for me.
My husband and I are coming up on the two year mark. I love to reflect. I love to look back and see we made it through challenging times. I love to look back and see what I think we did well. I also love to take inventory of what we can do better. My mission with this calling was to find ways to thrive and not merely survive. I tell ya the two year mark is wonderful. We are in our groove. The past life is no longer a memory. This is our life. And I have embraced it. Let me tell you a few moments that have stood out to me.
One reflection I had is of my dad. He has been fighting cancer and has had to do chemo for the past 5 months. It is difficult and hard. Most patients always have to be put off a week here and there while their platelets rise a bit more. My dad has never had to be put off. As I pondered this fact a clear message was sent that its a blessing for his children serving faithfully! Sometimes as a bishops wife it is hard to see progress because we are at home raising families or kinda behind the scene. Behind the scene is wonderful. (this is the new me talking. At first I didn't feel this way) My dad has been blessed simply because we have been serving. How can I not have a happy attitude. We have had some difficult weeks and its like a sliver in my foot not a nail. I can see the light.
Another reflection is my relationship with Heavenly Father. It is stronger then ever. My trust has increased. My knowledge and faith. Hope and charity have also become stronger. Never in my dreams did I see this outcome.
So, back to Elder Groberg. He had us ask some questions about ourselves and they have been great questions to ponder on which is why I wish to share them. First, What are you doing to build the kingdom of God? Do I have enough trust in God to do His will and lean not to my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6). Do I do whatever he asks of me? Then he challenged us to show our trust to the Lord by our actions. Then the best part that stood out. The best things are the hardest. You learn more through the tough things. It is where our trust increase gets stronger. We know we cant do it on our own. We need his help. Then his next challenge was to tell yourself "I am going to trust no matter what"
This calling is not easy. It takes a lot of time and sacrifice. But, I can honestly say I trust the Lord more and this is what life really is all about. Building the kingdom here upon the earth so that the Lord in His glory and with heaven can come and dwell. (D&C 65). The moment that was taught my heart swelled with joy. My husband and I are building the kingdom.
So, coming up on two years I must say I am content. The constant internal struggle is no longer present. It comes every now and again, but certainly not everyday. I no longer look to the day of my husbands release. I feel I can live the here and now and enjoy it. I think of all other bishops wives. I hope they are well. I hope they feel how loved they are. We share a unique kindred spirit between us. We "get it". I hope you all had a wonderful Sabbath! The Lord truly does trust us as companions to our husbands that we would be able to give of ourselves to allow our husbands to serve in this capacity. I wish everyone would have this great opportunity of growth and challenge! I at two years am so grateful we do. And remember those hard days "trust no matter what."
