The Day Had Come

April 22 will be a day that is forever in my memory. As we walked in and sat down I felt a million eyes right on me. People knew. Was is that obvious? Mr's parents came, but they visit often. And then my four year old announces to those with in ear shot...."My Dad's the new bishop." The sacrament ended and it was straight into business. I remember being humbled seeing how many arms went to the square to say they support and sustain. I was humbled. The tears flowed. The 17 month old went crazy. Thankfully I have great friends. One of which I could pass him to knowing I wouldn't need to worry about him the rest of the meeting. I just had the baby. My husband squeezed my hand and I knew that was the last time I would have his help and companionship during church. It was rough.

 Finally, it was my turn to speak. My last talk was at the funeral of my friend. I was just as nervous to get up there again. Me....a bishops wife. Why? How? What? Me? I can't remember what I said, but I remember the spirit being there. After the meetings I was in a whirlwind. All I kept hearing was "congratulations". Are you serious? I didn't ask for this. I didn't pray for this. It wasn't something I wanted to achieve. And I get a congratulations. Where were all the "I'm so sorry?????" :) I loved hearing how many said the spirit had prompted them with who it would be. I was thankful. We are so young. 31 to be exact. I knew others would need that prompting to support and uplift. But, I in no way felt it was an honor to be called "mother of the ward". I was already the mother of five and that was plenty for me.

In the first few weeks it was a new high. I received cards of support and wisdom. Texts. Phone calls from dear friends and ward members. They were the tender mercies I had no idea at the time would pull me through.

Then reality of it all hit. The late nights. The all day Sundays. The weight. The worry. The burdens. The highs. The lows. And the adversary. The adversary came strong and with full force at me. I couldn't get a handle on it all. I mourned the loss of my husband. But my goals remained the same and I was so determined to accomplish that this in fact would be a memorable time with GOOD memories. But How????