Saturday, October 17, 2015

The Joys

The life of a bishops wife always has its ups and downs. However, 2 1/2 years in we definitely have more ups then downs. The work is becoming joyful. Our relationship has deepened. My desire to serve the Lord more has increased. I want to be His disciple. I want to know that when that day comes of release that we did our best and succeeded because we learned how to plant our hearts even more firmly on the Savior.

I simply stand amazed at how the Savior cares for us. I have had many sweet miracles and blessings where I have felt the Savior aware of me, and so close. It is amazing. The longer we are in this calling the more I learn about Him. The more I trust Him. The more I want to share that love with others.

Recently, I had the privilege of listening to President Eyring. He said a phrase that has caused me to ponder this calling. No one understands the sacrifice this calling takes until you have lived in these shoes. Someday's it seems overwhelming and too much. Some weeks my husband and I are like ships in the night. We hardly see one another. Other weeks we get lots of time with one another. We raise a large family. Their is always somewhere to be and someone who needs something. Some weeks the task may seem a bit much when we also share our time with a ward family. I went in to listening to President Eyring with many of these thoughts on my mind and a tender heart. I wanted to be spiritually filled. I wanted the Lord to speak to me. And He did. One sentence changed my entire perspective. He said "if you understood the blessings nothing would seem like a sacrifice." He was chocked up. I could tell he knew more then me. The spirit had taught Him more then what I knew. I walked away with a new resolve. I wanted to be better. I wanted to stay calmer when the stakes are higher. I wanted to support more. Be more joyful when duty calls. It has changed everything. I am not perfect. I still have many moments where the feelings of loneliness and despair creep in, but I quickly remember President Eyring and plead with the Lord to again see the tender mercies and His hand and to be strengthened by His strength.

I have come to realize that this call is a great blessing. It is a privilege. It is a great growing opportunity if we make it. Building the kingdom of God is what matters most. It brings the greatest joy and fulfillment. It is at times hard to juggle building the kingdom in my home and also allowing time to help build it through callings, but the Lord strengthened us. I have come to know that I am nothing without that strength. It has been a hard uphill climb to see it all from this view, but so worth it. Never would I change this. The Lord truly refines us and strengthen us. I simply stand all amazed!

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