Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Embrace The Way You Tick
When my husband was called as bishop I began to feel every watchful eye on me. It became uncomfortable and in some situations unfair. I felt I couldn't be me. I went through a period of soul searching to figure out who I am. I always felt I knew who I was. A go get her get it don't type of person. I LOVE to be around people...and I am also fine by myself. And....I am a planner through and through. I tick on routine. It is in my blood. I am not a fly by the seat of my pants, or care free enough just to let things go. It is simply not me. And I am okay with that.
So...you can imagine the first year of this calling. It was hard. Nothing was planned. I never knew what to expect. It threw me for a complete loop and I got to the point of not functioning. I could barely eat. I couldn't sleep. I would have church nightmares. Everything as I knew it came to a stop. I had no idea how I was going to make it through.
My husband and I had many back and forth conversations of how we could change things. I finally needed a routine. I needed to know what to expect. We needed boundaries. Yes, people need the bishop, but I also had many little kids who needed a dad and I needed a husband. I needed our family to be in tact. So, we came up with a game plan. Boundaries were put into place and a routine was established. I felt free again. I can expect the same schedule every week. It starts at the same time and usually ends at the same time. I know when to expect him home each night and we communicate when things are different. It is a night and day difference.
Embrace who you are and what makes you tick. If you tick on having one night a week of no interruptions do it. If you need to cut out a day of appointments do it. You need to embrace you. Who cares if people think you are a needy wife. In some way shape or form all wives have needs and its important to not push those aside. Here is how we live a happier bishops family life.....
Sunday: Hardest day of the week. It requires the most work and energy. I have not mastered my Sundays being a delight but I know what to expect. He has early meetings and usually will not get home until 4. Usually at 3 I call to see about what time to know what to expect.
The week: My husband is always home on Monday, Tuesday, Friday. Youth night he is usually gone till 10 and Thursday are his meeting nights he is gone 7:15-10:00.
Saturdays: Hit and miss. Sometimes there are things but usually involve the entire family.
Throughout the week I know he will always sit down to dinner with us. I will always have a Friday night date. We will always be together for FHE.
Once this was in place I could function again. I knew exactly what to expect. There are no surprises. Yes emergencies come up, but they are few. You have to establish what an emergency consists of. When things come up for the family...which they will we both know I can say "block this day" and it is blocked. I am in charge to be sure my husband is where he is needed when he is needed. This means school events are scheduled on both mine and his calendar.
Now to some this could make them want to jump off a cliff. That is why I am telling you how I have been able to embrace the way I tick. This is me. This is how I can function and keep a happy home. How do you tick?
(Any topic you would like me to expound on I would love to hear.)