December. Need I say more? For me this is by far the most difficult month for us. It's our third December as a bishops family. I can't pin point why a month that is suppose to be so joyous is my hardest month. In fact it is so hard I feel January first should be a bishops wife holiday. I contemplate having cake and ice cream. Maybe even pick up some balloons. It can be titled "Happy We Survived December Day". Do you feel like this? Am I just completely crazy?
I recently deleted all my social media pages. It was way to hard to feel like I never got a break from the ward. It was hard to see the cliques and the exclusive groups. It was hard to heal from negative judgement seeing their faces each day. I have never felt more free. However, it means I miss out on the bishops wife group. I miss those ladies! I miss the discussion. I miss being able to say "times are tough" and have people get it. Today is one of those days I wish I could go get a boost from those who know how difficult and challenging this place is. It is hard. Very hard. I wish others understood that I give everything for my husband to serve. Everything. So hooray for January first. 3 Decembers down. Potentially only 2 more to go. How are you holding up this December? Is it hard for you too? Comments welcomed.:)
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
The Joys
The life of a bishops wife always has its ups and downs. However, 2 1/2 years in we definitely have more ups then downs. The work is becoming joyful. Our relationship has deepened. My desire to serve the Lord more has increased. I want to be His disciple. I want to know that when that day comes of release that we did our best and succeeded because we learned how to plant our hearts even more firmly on the Savior.
I simply stand amazed at how the Savior cares for us. I have had many sweet miracles and blessings where I have felt the Savior aware of me, and so close. It is amazing. The longer we are in this calling the more I learn about Him. The more I trust Him. The more I want to share that love with others.
Recently, I had the privilege of listening to President Eyring. He said a phrase that has caused me to ponder this calling. No one understands the sacrifice this calling takes until you have lived in these shoes. Someday's it seems overwhelming and too much. Some weeks my husband and I are like ships in the night. We hardly see one another. Other weeks we get lots of time with one another. We raise a large family. Their is always somewhere to be and someone who needs something. Some weeks the task may seem a bit much when we also share our time with a ward family. I went in to listening to President Eyring with many of these thoughts on my mind and a tender heart. I wanted to be spiritually filled. I wanted the Lord to speak to me. And He did. One sentence changed my entire perspective. He said "if you understood the blessings nothing would seem like a sacrifice." He was chocked up. I could tell he knew more then me. The spirit had taught Him more then what I knew. I walked away with a new resolve. I wanted to be better. I wanted to stay calmer when the stakes are higher. I wanted to support more. Be more joyful when duty calls. It has changed everything. I am not perfect. I still have many moments where the feelings of loneliness and despair creep in, but I quickly remember President Eyring and plead with the Lord to again see the tender mercies and His hand and to be strengthened by His strength.
I have come to realize that this call is a great blessing. It is a privilege. It is a great growing opportunity if we make it. Building the kingdom of God is what matters most. It brings the greatest joy and fulfillment. It is at times hard to juggle building the kingdom in my home and also allowing time to help build it through callings, but the Lord strengthened us. I have come to know that I am nothing without that strength. It has been a hard uphill climb to see it all from this view, but so worth it. Never would I change this. The Lord truly refines us and strengthen us. I simply stand all amazed!
I simply stand amazed at how the Savior cares for us. I have had many sweet miracles and blessings where I have felt the Savior aware of me, and so close. It is amazing. The longer we are in this calling the more I learn about Him. The more I trust Him. The more I want to share that love with others.
Recently, I had the privilege of listening to President Eyring. He said a phrase that has caused me to ponder this calling. No one understands the sacrifice this calling takes until you have lived in these shoes. Someday's it seems overwhelming and too much. Some weeks my husband and I are like ships in the night. We hardly see one another. Other weeks we get lots of time with one another. We raise a large family. Their is always somewhere to be and someone who needs something. Some weeks the task may seem a bit much when we also share our time with a ward family. I went in to listening to President Eyring with many of these thoughts on my mind and a tender heart. I wanted to be spiritually filled. I wanted the Lord to speak to me. And He did. One sentence changed my entire perspective. He said "if you understood the blessings nothing would seem like a sacrifice." He was chocked up. I could tell he knew more then me. The spirit had taught Him more then what I knew. I walked away with a new resolve. I wanted to be better. I wanted to stay calmer when the stakes are higher. I wanted to support more. Be more joyful when duty calls. It has changed everything. I am not perfect. I still have many moments where the feelings of loneliness and despair creep in, but I quickly remember President Eyring and plead with the Lord to again see the tender mercies and His hand and to be strengthened by His strength.
I have come to realize that this call is a great blessing. It is a privilege. It is a great growing opportunity if we make it. Building the kingdom of God is what matters most. It brings the greatest joy and fulfillment. It is at times hard to juggle building the kingdom in my home and also allowing time to help build it through callings, but the Lord strengthened us. I have come to know that I am nothing without that strength. It has been a hard uphill climb to see it all from this view, but so worth it. Never would I change this. The Lord truly refines us and strengthen us. I simply stand all amazed!
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Reflection Time
Over the weekend I had the great opportunity to go and listen to Elder Groberg speak to our youth at a mission readiness conference. It was absolutely wonderful and so many pieces clicked for me.
My husband and I are coming up on the two year mark. I love to reflect. I love to look back and see we made it through challenging times. I love to look back and see what I think we did well. I also love to take inventory of what we can do better. My mission with this calling was to find ways to thrive and not merely survive. I tell ya the two year mark is wonderful. We are in our groove. The past life is no longer a memory. This is our life. And I have embraced it. Let me tell you a few moments that have stood out to me.
One reflection I had is of my dad. He has been fighting cancer and has had to do chemo for the past 5 months. It is difficult and hard. Most patients always have to be put off a week here and there while their platelets rise a bit more. My dad has never had to be put off. As I pondered this fact a clear message was sent that its a blessing for his children serving faithfully! Sometimes as a bishops wife it is hard to see progress because we are at home raising families or kinda behind the scene. Behind the scene is wonderful. (this is the new me talking. At first I didn't feel this way) My dad has been blessed simply because we have been serving. How can I not have a happy attitude. We have had some difficult weeks and its like a sliver in my foot not a nail. I can see the light.
Another reflection is my relationship with Heavenly Father. It is stronger then ever. My trust has increased. My knowledge and faith. Hope and charity have also become stronger. Never in my dreams did I see this outcome.
So, back to Elder Groberg. He had us ask some questions about ourselves and they have been great questions to ponder on which is why I wish to share them. First, What are you doing to build the kingdom of God? Do I have enough trust in God to do His will and lean not to my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6). Do I do whatever he asks of me? Then he challenged us to show our trust to the Lord by our actions. Then the best part that stood out. The best things are the hardest. You learn more through the tough things. It is where our trust increase gets stronger. We know we cant do it on our own. We need his help. Then his next challenge was to tell yourself "I am going to trust no matter what"
This calling is not easy. It takes a lot of time and sacrifice. But, I can honestly say I trust the Lord more and this is what life really is all about. Building the kingdom here upon the earth so that the Lord in His glory and with heaven can come and dwell. (D&C 65). The moment that was taught my heart swelled with joy. My husband and I are building the kingdom.
So, coming up on two years I must say I am content. The constant internal struggle is no longer present. It comes every now and again, but certainly not everyday. I no longer look to the day of my husbands release. I feel I can live the here and now and enjoy it. I think of all other bishops wives. I hope they are well. I hope they feel how loved they are. We share a unique kindred spirit between us. We "get it". I hope you all had a wonderful Sabbath! The Lord truly does trust us as companions to our husbands that we would be able to give of ourselves to allow our husbands to serve in this capacity. I wish everyone would have this great opportunity of growth and challenge! I at two years am so grateful we do. And remember those hard days "trust no matter what."
My husband and I are coming up on the two year mark. I love to reflect. I love to look back and see we made it through challenging times. I love to look back and see what I think we did well. I also love to take inventory of what we can do better. My mission with this calling was to find ways to thrive and not merely survive. I tell ya the two year mark is wonderful. We are in our groove. The past life is no longer a memory. This is our life. And I have embraced it. Let me tell you a few moments that have stood out to me.
One reflection I had is of my dad. He has been fighting cancer and has had to do chemo for the past 5 months. It is difficult and hard. Most patients always have to be put off a week here and there while their platelets rise a bit more. My dad has never had to be put off. As I pondered this fact a clear message was sent that its a blessing for his children serving faithfully! Sometimes as a bishops wife it is hard to see progress because we are at home raising families or kinda behind the scene. Behind the scene is wonderful. (this is the new me talking. At first I didn't feel this way) My dad has been blessed simply because we have been serving. How can I not have a happy attitude. We have had some difficult weeks and its like a sliver in my foot not a nail. I can see the light.
Another reflection is my relationship with Heavenly Father. It is stronger then ever. My trust has increased. My knowledge and faith. Hope and charity have also become stronger. Never in my dreams did I see this outcome.
So, back to Elder Groberg. He had us ask some questions about ourselves and they have been great questions to ponder on which is why I wish to share them. First, What are you doing to build the kingdom of God? Do I have enough trust in God to do His will and lean not to my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6). Do I do whatever he asks of me? Then he challenged us to show our trust to the Lord by our actions. Then the best part that stood out. The best things are the hardest. You learn more through the tough things. It is where our trust increase gets stronger. We know we cant do it on our own. We need his help. Then his next challenge was to tell yourself "I am going to trust no matter what"
This calling is not easy. It takes a lot of time and sacrifice. But, I can honestly say I trust the Lord more and this is what life really is all about. Building the kingdom here upon the earth so that the Lord in His glory and with heaven can come and dwell. (D&C 65). The moment that was taught my heart swelled with joy. My husband and I are building the kingdom.
So, coming up on two years I must say I am content. The constant internal struggle is no longer present. It comes every now and again, but certainly not everyday. I no longer look to the day of my husbands release. I feel I can live the here and now and enjoy it. I think of all other bishops wives. I hope they are well. I hope they feel how loved they are. We share a unique kindred spirit between us. We "get it". I hope you all had a wonderful Sabbath! The Lord truly does trust us as companions to our husbands that we would be able to give of ourselves to allow our husbands to serve in this capacity. I wish everyone would have this great opportunity of growth and challenge! I at two years am so grateful we do. And remember those hard days "trust no matter what."
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Reflection
It's early morning Christmas Eve and my head has been reflection on this past year. I have been so emotional realizing the things I learned, the way I grew, and the grace that I feel has changed me. I may not be able to put this all in words but I am going to try.
Bishop' wife. Written and said doesn't seem their is anything to it. However, it is one of the most challenging refiners fire I have ever been placed in. You are broken down to the very core. Every weakness you have known in yourself is magnified and increased and more are shown that you never knew existed. The fire is so hot and at times I have felt nearly burnt. I have questioned the reality of the Savior. I have felt the depths of loneliness and despair in a way I never though imaginable. My relationship with my husband changed. The conversations became more crucial and the fight picked up steam between good and evil and we had to choose. Thankfully, we always choose each other and we always choose to win. And we are winning. We have learned more about each other. We have been more vulnerable. More open. More honest. More together. This never came easy during this year, but our relationship was taken to greater heights. Nothing that is worth it I have realized will ever come easy. That realization perhaps changed the course of this experience. In the end I want to be standing tall next to the man I married many years ago. And so far I am.
I have always said I want to forever be a disciple of Christ. I want Him to know I will do anything that is asked of me. The trust of the Lord is huge. While I was going through the refiners fire this year I did not see who I was becoming. It hasn't been till the last couple weeks that I feel I have seen the light, the horizon, the gift of refinement. I have a knowledge of grace that I have never known. Grace to forgive, grace to bring peace to relationships, grace to see the Lords plan a little bit clearer. Grace to love others when it seems impossible. Grace to have a better view of my children the way the Lord views them. I never knew the depth of grace. I finally feel I reached a new level of grace to simply be at peace.
Peace. It was something I yearned for this entire year. Back in January I had found it, but when the stakes got higher and chaos broke out I lost it. Come September/October I found myself being okay with the thought of bitterness. Bitterness for the time spent in this calling and the lack of togetherness I felt. Bitterness for the lonely days. Those who know me know that my number one goal was to not become bitter. I wanted this time to look back on with fond memories. I finally accepted it wasn't meant to be. I met with the stake president hopeful to get some advice or prompting to help me. I was done. I felt defeated. All I remember telling the stake president over and over again is I want peace. I want peace. I want peace. I want nothing more to be a disciple of Christ and I feel far from that. Leaving his office I didn't feel a direct one answer, but I felt placed back on the path to lead me in the direction I wanted to go. But I was still in search of peace. Peace to know I am okay. Peace to know the Lord is okay with me. Peace in what I am suppose to be doing. Peace. I only asked for peace.
As time went on I wasn't so sure I was finding peace. Until one day. My visiting teachers came by. One shared in passing about peace. That peace was not given by the Lord in the ways of the world. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, I give unto you."(John 14:27)....At that moment I knew I was searching for worldly peace. It never occurred to me their was a difference. And I also knew I would never find peace in the eyes of the world.
So, my thinking changed. Could I find peace in the midst of 5 crazy loud busy busy children. Peace in a ward where we give so much. Peace in my relationship. Peace in myself. Perhaps that's the one I wanted most. Peace within myself. This brought on the reflection of this year and I realized I can't have true discipleship to the Lord if I am not refined to the very core. It won't happen. At least not for me. The path of discipleship is hard. But, as I reflected on this something changed. I saw clearly the miracles and tender mercies I have seen throughout this year. To forgive those who had not been so nice, to overcome sickness, to feel strength beyond my own, to follow promptings, to serve, to have ends meet with so little means while between jobs, filled with contentment. I realized in these reflections that this is where the peace is at. Peace is not a smooth sailing time for weeks. Peace is recognizing the Lord. Seeing His miracles. Seeing His hand. Peace is knowing I am doing the best I can in hopes to be better. I don't want this season to end. I want to carry this with me. Finally, in my search for peace I have found it. And it is not in the ways of the world. I see yet another side of the Lord. He truly is the Prince of Peace.
Bishop' wife. Written and said doesn't seem their is anything to it. However, it is one of the most challenging refiners fire I have ever been placed in. You are broken down to the very core. Every weakness you have known in yourself is magnified and increased and more are shown that you never knew existed. The fire is so hot and at times I have felt nearly burnt. I have questioned the reality of the Savior. I have felt the depths of loneliness and despair in a way I never though imaginable. My relationship with my husband changed. The conversations became more crucial and the fight picked up steam between good and evil and we had to choose. Thankfully, we always choose each other and we always choose to win. And we are winning. We have learned more about each other. We have been more vulnerable. More open. More honest. More together. This never came easy during this year, but our relationship was taken to greater heights. Nothing that is worth it I have realized will ever come easy. That realization perhaps changed the course of this experience. In the end I want to be standing tall next to the man I married many years ago. And so far I am.
I have always said I want to forever be a disciple of Christ. I want Him to know I will do anything that is asked of me. The trust of the Lord is huge. While I was going through the refiners fire this year I did not see who I was becoming. It hasn't been till the last couple weeks that I feel I have seen the light, the horizon, the gift of refinement. I have a knowledge of grace that I have never known. Grace to forgive, grace to bring peace to relationships, grace to see the Lords plan a little bit clearer. Grace to love others when it seems impossible. Grace to have a better view of my children the way the Lord views them. I never knew the depth of grace. I finally feel I reached a new level of grace to simply be at peace.
Peace. It was something I yearned for this entire year. Back in January I had found it, but when the stakes got higher and chaos broke out I lost it. Come September/October I found myself being okay with the thought of bitterness. Bitterness for the time spent in this calling and the lack of togetherness I felt. Bitterness for the lonely days. Those who know me know that my number one goal was to not become bitter. I wanted this time to look back on with fond memories. I finally accepted it wasn't meant to be. I met with the stake president hopeful to get some advice or prompting to help me. I was done. I felt defeated. All I remember telling the stake president over and over again is I want peace. I want peace. I want peace. I want nothing more to be a disciple of Christ and I feel far from that. Leaving his office I didn't feel a direct one answer, but I felt placed back on the path to lead me in the direction I wanted to go. But I was still in search of peace. Peace to know I am okay. Peace to know the Lord is okay with me. Peace in what I am suppose to be doing. Peace. I only asked for peace.
As time went on I wasn't so sure I was finding peace. Until one day. My visiting teachers came by. One shared in passing about peace. That peace was not given by the Lord in the ways of the world. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, I give unto you."(John 14:27)....At that moment I knew I was searching for worldly peace. It never occurred to me their was a difference. And I also knew I would never find peace in the eyes of the world.
So, my thinking changed. Could I find peace in the midst of 5 crazy loud busy busy children. Peace in a ward where we give so much. Peace in my relationship. Peace in myself. Perhaps that's the one I wanted most. Peace within myself. This brought on the reflection of this year and I realized I can't have true discipleship to the Lord if I am not refined to the very core. It won't happen. At least not for me. The path of discipleship is hard. But, as I reflected on this something changed. I saw clearly the miracles and tender mercies I have seen throughout this year. To forgive those who had not been so nice, to overcome sickness, to feel strength beyond my own, to follow promptings, to serve, to have ends meet with so little means while between jobs, filled with contentment. I realized in these reflections that this is where the peace is at. Peace is not a smooth sailing time for weeks. Peace is recognizing the Lord. Seeing His miracles. Seeing His hand. Peace is knowing I am doing the best I can in hopes to be better. I don't want this season to end. I want to carry this with me. Finally, in my search for peace I have found it. And it is not in the ways of the world. I see yet another side of the Lord. He truly is the Prince of Peace.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
The Real and Raw....
Here I sit. Laundry piles fill my room. Toys clutter my floors. Dishes fill my sink. Sticky goo is scattered on the kitchen floor. Tooth paste lines my bathroom sinks. And me...here I sit in my room. I am coming off of a difficult time. It hasn't been pretty. I have many questions. I want answers. I feel my head spinning in a bazillion different ways. I want normal. I want me. I want my life back.
Do any of you feel this way? Who am I? Where am I going? (Saturdays Warriors fans now have that stuck in their head:)) Why can't I move on? Why do I feel this way?
I am in a place as of late that I feel the adversary literally with me at every step I make. Pounding me. Mocking me. Shouting at me. Hounding me. I feel a lot of days I have no escape.
This morning I got out of bed. I had been awake since 3:15am. Between the time change, kids crying, and bishop wife nightmares I simply couldn't sleep. I had memories of the last few weeks. The criticism, gossip and complaints all weighed on my mind. I thought of my dad who just got diagnosed with cancer. I thought of my 5 children that I would be with in a matter of hours. I thought of the baby I want, but a body that no longer works. I thought of the person next to me and how I felt like we were strangers. Finally, at 6:00 I rolled myself out of bed to get ready. Get me ready. Get kids ready. Get lunches ready. Get backpacks ready. Feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. As I went upstairs to get socks so I could go to the bus stop with a few extra minutes I knelt in my closet with the lights off (so I wouldn't be found. It worked.) and simply cried to Heavenly Father. "I can't do this anymore", "What does thou want of me?", "I want my husband back", "I can't face today", "I am not strong anymore", "I am broken", "I am lost", "I am confused", "I am lonely", "I am afraid of feelings of I am not good enough and mainly the feeling of I don't have a place in this church or in my home", "I can't handle the opposition anymore", "I miss him", "I miss him", "I miss him" "Please send someone to rescue me today. I can't do today alone."
Most of these questions were not answered today. But I was rescued. A simple text of "how are you doing" by a few different friends meant the world to me. One has been in my shoes. She has carried this weight. She knows the struggle. One who I haven't heard from in a while to simply ask how I was. It felt so good to catch up. She made me smile when she told me at her RS meeting some weren't saying kind things about the bishop. She stopped them. She told them its hard. I admire that. Oh, what a difference that has got to make. I talked to my other great friend who has no clue what these shoes are like, but could still sympathize and listen and feel sorry and sad for me. That was all I asked for. I needed rescuing and I was rescued. I don't expect tomorrow to be different. But tonight I can ponder and know that for today I was rescued. And tomorrow I hope it will give me enough strength to combat the adversary. To push forward. To fight. To come to a place of understanding once again. To not call and plead for release.
Please know I think about each bishops wife. And if your not a bishops wife go hug one. They could be having a rotten day and need rescuing. Thank you for those who followed the promptings to rescue me today.
Do any of you feel this way? Who am I? Where am I going? (Saturdays Warriors fans now have that stuck in their head:)) Why can't I move on? Why do I feel this way?
I am in a place as of late that I feel the adversary literally with me at every step I make. Pounding me. Mocking me. Shouting at me. Hounding me. I feel a lot of days I have no escape.
This morning I got out of bed. I had been awake since 3:15am. Between the time change, kids crying, and bishop wife nightmares I simply couldn't sleep. I had memories of the last few weeks. The criticism, gossip and complaints all weighed on my mind. I thought of my dad who just got diagnosed with cancer. I thought of my 5 children that I would be with in a matter of hours. I thought of the baby I want, but a body that no longer works. I thought of the person next to me and how I felt like we were strangers. Finally, at 6:00 I rolled myself out of bed to get ready. Get me ready. Get kids ready. Get lunches ready. Get backpacks ready. Feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. As I went upstairs to get socks so I could go to the bus stop with a few extra minutes I knelt in my closet with the lights off (so I wouldn't be found. It worked.) and simply cried to Heavenly Father. "I can't do this anymore", "What does thou want of me?", "I want my husband back", "I can't face today", "I am not strong anymore", "I am broken", "I am lost", "I am confused", "I am lonely", "I am afraid of feelings of I am not good enough and mainly the feeling of I don't have a place in this church or in my home", "I can't handle the opposition anymore", "I miss him", "I miss him", "I miss him" "Please send someone to rescue me today. I can't do today alone."
Most of these questions were not answered today. But I was rescued. A simple text of "how are you doing" by a few different friends meant the world to me. One has been in my shoes. She has carried this weight. She knows the struggle. One who I haven't heard from in a while to simply ask how I was. It felt so good to catch up. She made me smile when she told me at her RS meeting some weren't saying kind things about the bishop. She stopped them. She told them its hard. I admire that. Oh, what a difference that has got to make. I talked to my other great friend who has no clue what these shoes are like, but could still sympathize and listen and feel sorry and sad for me. That was all I asked for. I needed rescuing and I was rescued. I don't expect tomorrow to be different. But tonight I can ponder and know that for today I was rescued. And tomorrow I hope it will give me enough strength to combat the adversary. To push forward. To fight. To come to a place of understanding once again. To not call and plead for release.
Please know I think about each bishops wife. And if your not a bishops wife go hug one. They could be having a rotten day and need rescuing. Thank you for those who followed the promptings to rescue me today.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
The Rollar Coaster Ride
Recently, I watched one of my new favorite movies out there. It's titled "Emma Smith". I watched it on netflix for those interested. It is all about Emma. Her life. Her joy. Her hardships. Her faithfulness. I served a mission in Kirtland and so I have ALWAYS adored Emma. For whatever reason my heart always went out to her. I often would think of her while reading a story about the prophet Joseph Smith. I could recognize that yes the prophet did amazing work, but he had a wife by his side. I always admired the support she gave to her husband. I always new the love she had went deep for him. Watching that movie kinda brought it all together and I always had another profound thought....
Those of us who are focused on building the kingdom will ALWAYS have opposition. Especially those called to serve over a group of people. Always. It will never go away. It may subside, but never go away.
The past few weeks I have learned to embrace that. We are in the hottest part of the refiners fire as the wife. We loose everything. (or at least I feel I have) When the stake president told me I would loose friends, I kinda thought "oh. Not me. People know me for me and I have friends." Well sure enough as the weeks and months passed on the on set of loneliness settled in. It is my biggest battle. Still 18 months in most days I am filled with loneliness beyond any level I have ever felt. You see, I THRIVE off being social. I thrive off conversations, get togethers, girls nights, date nights, games, social events. All of it. It is part of who I am. I have had to pray and learn how to thrive in other ways. How to develop a more rounded personality. How to find ways to serve others to fulfill that need. Sometimes the oppositions are what truly become our greatest blessings!
I will embrace opposition! I know I have grown to accept it when my husband received a HUGE pay cut out of no where. And I can still smile and say "we WILL continue to do the Lord's work and all will be well". That has never been my first response, nor do I usually embrace trials with a smile. But I will. I have grown. I will grow and the Lord will provide. I trust that!
I expected though in the beginning that the opposition would end at some point. Now, I am to a point of knowing it will not. It is a matter of embracing it and charging forward and not getting stuck. I truly hope that I will weather this well. This calling has become an absolute joy. It is now part of our lives and our family. It is what we have to do and desire to do. It has tested me to the very core of "will I serve God?" It has pulled at every heart string and then some that I never thought possible or even know I had. And it will continue to. The best part is we are being taken care of. We are learning and growing and stretching in ways that are just plain uncomfortable, but the end result I know is truly amazing! The Lord is amazing! He knows exactly what we need and if we let him, he will turn us into the person he sees us as. I love His work! So, because I love it I have embraced the phrase "come what may and love it!"
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Be A Doer
Recently, my Mr. asked me to give the 5th Sunday lesson. I along with my Mr. discussed some huge concerns that we were seeing. It has weighed pretty heavy on my mind and heart to see women who are sad and feel they don't matter. Women who don't see the goodness and joy. I have always enjoyed womanhood and the opportunities that would present themselves. I have always been blessed with a clear vision of what I want and what I must do to get there. Being a mom has added to it and to be honest came very naturally for me. Now, don't get me wrong....I have bad moments and days....but I love being a mom to my kiddos. We have a blast together!
Back on topic
So.....the 5th Sunday lesson....before Mr. had asked me I had read the story of Mary and Martha. Not the typical one we hear about where Mary is at his feet while Martha is preparing the meal. The one where they seek the Lord to heal Lazarus and the Lord arrives after Lazarus has died. There are SO many good, good points in this story. But I felt the love the Lord had for them. And that's is what we are missing in our busy lives. No matter what we are doing or how much we have on our plate the love of the Lord and the love we feel is our driving point. It is why we say yes to any calling. It is why we do our home and visiting teaching. It is why we have the desire to serve and be happy. Love is a magical thing! It can mend hearts, gives us the power to forgive and gives us the strength to turn to the Lord when we are overwhelmed. It is why we commit. So....without rambling on more, here is the out line of the talk I gave. I learned so much more then anyone. But I soon hope to have my family saying hung huge on my wall....."be ye doers of the word".
Enjoy!
Back on topic
So.....the 5th Sunday lesson....before Mr. had asked me I had read the story of Mary and Martha. Not the typical one we hear about where Mary is at his feet while Martha is preparing the meal. The one where they seek the Lord to heal Lazarus and the Lord arrives after Lazarus has died. There are SO many good, good points in this story. But I felt the love the Lord had for them. And that's is what we are missing in our busy lives. No matter what we are doing or how much we have on our plate the love of the Lord and the love we feel is our driving point. It is why we say yes to any calling. It is why we do our home and visiting teaching. It is why we have the desire to serve and be happy. Love is a magical thing! It can mend hearts, gives us the power to forgive and gives us the strength to turn to the Lord when we are overwhelmed. It is why we commit. So....without rambling on more, here is the out line of the talk I gave. I learned so much more then anyone. But I soon hope to have my family saying hung huge on my wall....."be ye doers of the word".
Enjoy!
Finding Joy and
Love in Your Service to the Lord
“Thou
shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all
thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.
The
second is like unto it “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
So….lets
start with the first. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,
with all thy soul and with all thy mind.
I
want you to think about ways that you feel the Saviors love. I want you to
think about this while I share a story from the scriptures.
Mary
and Martha (John 11)
Do
we believe that the love our Savior has for us reaches this depth? You can
really sense the great love the Savior had for both Mary and Martha and Lazrus.
So
in what ways can we feel the Love of the Savior?
I
have two questions for you.
1.
Do
you believe IN the Savior?
2.
Do
you BELIEVE the Savior
The
word IN changes the depth of the belief we have in the Savior. So how can we
first feel the love of the Savior more in our lives and two how can we show
that love for the Savior in our lives.
The
Savior teaches us in the scriptures that “Not every one that saith unto me,
Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that DOETH the will
of my Father which is in heaven.” (Matt 7:21)
This
starts the parable where He likens us unto a wise man or a foolish man. It is
based off of a single word…..DOETH
James
1:22 states “But be ye doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving your
own selves.”
So
clearly from these scriptures the love we feel and the love we show has a huge
part to do with what we do.
In
the Savors ministry we read on many accounts DOERS of the work.
In
Matt 8 we read about a leper that comes to the Lord. He asked the Lord “if thou
wilt, thou canst make me clean.” He was not just a hearer of the word, but a
DOER. He sought the Lord. Went to him. He asked him to heal him. He did not sit
by waiting for the Lord to come to him. Can you imagine the disappointment if
he would have? Would he have been healed?
More
examples of this includes:
*A
centurion, beseeching him and explained that his servant lie sick with palsy.
The Lord healed him.
*A
women diseased with a blood issue touched his garment and she was healed (Matt
9:20)
*A
ruler came and worshipped Him and then asked for his daughter to be healed. She
was healed (Matt 9:18 )
*Blind
men followed crying asking for him to heal them. He asked if they believed him.
He then healed them (Matt 9: 27)
*A
man was brought that was dumb and possessed with a devil. The Savior cast him
out
We
see from these examples that every single one put forth some kind of effort.
Weither it was to touch his garment, bring someone to him, or simply ask for a
healing to take place. In none of these examples did they simply sit by and
wait. They were DOERS of the word. Not only were they DOERS, and not only did
they believe IN the Savior, but they BELIEVED the Savior. And not only were
they doers, and believers, but they clearly had love for the Savior and they
felt the love the Savior has for them.
In
John 13:34-35 We read the Savior teaches the people “A new commandment I give
unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, the ye also love one
another.
He
tells us twice to love one another.
Then
in verse 35 he stats “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if
ye have love one to another.”
“The
love the Savior described is an active love. It is not manifested through large
and heroic deeds but rather through simple acts of kindness and service.” Elder
Ballard
So.
Going back to the statement to be a DOER of the word how do we do this?
I
will start by reading a scripture in 3 Nephi 17:7 The Savior is teaching his
people. He asks the people to go and ponder what he had just taught and then he
asks them to PRAY about it. And to prepare there minds for the next day. When
he cast His eyes around the multitude He saw they were in tears and looking
toward him steadfastly as if they would ask him to tarry just a little longer.
He had compassion upon them.
He
says to them:
3
Nephi 17:7 Have ye any… (Emphasis that all of us fit in this catergory)
He
is beckoning to His people to BRING them to Him. This applies to us everyday.
“BRING
THEM HITHER” They again were not just DOERS of the word, and they not only
believed IN the Savior, but they BELIEVED the Savior. But not only were they
doers, and believers, but they loved the Lord and they felt the love he had for
them. And he healed them.
He
is teaching us how to show the love for others and how to show love to the
Lord, by stating to “bring them hither”. Let’s remember in the Lord’s example
of healings some of the healings came because others had “brought them hither”
So
in which ways do we show this love for the Lord by bringing others to Him in
our lives?
What
stops us?
When
we feel the love of the Savior in our own lives we have the desire for others
to feel it as well.
But
some may feel overwhelmed or that this check list is much to big. Or that we
don’t have the time. So, how do we do it
all and get to the point where we have the joy of this life. After all when
Adam fell we are told…..Adam fell that men are, and men are that they might
have joy.
To
me joy is more then happiness. It is a sense of peace, empowerment, calmness, excitement,
contentment.
So
how do we get there. It starts with the choices we make today. We can always be
a little better and do a little better. But How?
The
Savior tell us in Matthew 11:28-30
“… because He paid the ultimate price and
bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy
in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor—literally run to
us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that
which we could never do through relying upon only our own power.” Elder Bednar
We
simply get there through the atonement. (fill in with quotes from Elder Bednars
talk)
It
encompasses everything.
It
makes our burdens light
It
frees us from pain, guilt, sorrow
It
empowers us to get more done then we have the capability to do on our own.
Do
we not only believe IN this but do we BELIEVE this? Do we believe we can be
better? Be strengthened? Be forgiven? Let us do anything to must do to get to
that point of belief so that we can feel the fullness of joy.
Let
us take the opprotunities we have been given to lay part of this foundation.
Let us rejoice! Let us be a doer ALWAYS.
When
we truly believe that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father we will
believe in His plan and His purpose. We will feel his love and be able to share
that love with others.
Testify
of the atonement.
I
encourage you to read as families and individuals Elder Bednars talk The Atonement
and the Journey of Mortality”
I
also encourage all of us to go home to our families and set three goal
individually and as families.
1.
One
for ourselves individually and as families of ways to can become closer to the
Savior
2.
One
for our callings. (includes home and visiting teaching) How can we strengthen
those we serve? Love those we serve? And find joy in serving both individually
and as families?
3.
How
can we strive to strengthen our ward family individually and as families.
Show
Video from Elder Eyring
Let
us feel joy and peace in his service as Elder Eyring stated. Let us choose this
day to follow him and show love to the Savior. Let us choose to show love to
others always.
After
all…”Hasting the work has to do with the Excitement we all feel about sharing
the message of the gospel. It’s a natural process that comes out of Love.”
(Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson general young womens president)
Testify
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